Hello worklifers,
December is a month filled with many emotions. This is an intense time for nailing down projects and making plans for the next year. It is also a time for celebrating the holidays and missing loved ones who are not close to us. Believe it or not, the holiday season does cause stress in a lot of people, myself included. Questions abound, like, “Should we take a vacation or stay at home? How should we plan to keep the kids away from their screens? Should we do gifts for everyone? Should we stick to all the traditions? How should we connect with family we cannot meet in person?” We want the end of the year to be a time to wind down and recharge, and we wish there were no decisions to make. Yet we so often find ourselves in the throes of decision fatigue.
I went through some stress around the upcoming holiday season. As a result, my brain went into "I wish I didn't have to" mode. This is an easy mode to fall into when you’re feeling the weight of your responsibilities. It starts with you thinking, “I wish I didn’t have to…” followed by a series of thoughts. Mine looked like this:
1. I wish I didn’t have to clean my garage.
2. I wish I didn't have to engage with seventeen different teams to agree on a shared roadmap for our product.
3. I wish I didn't have to plan a vacation for my family.
4. I wish I didn't have to decide what to cook every evening during my time off.
5. I wish I didn't have to brainstorm creative ways to keep my kids from spending too much time on their screens.
The list went on in my head… but then something magical happened. As I was listening to a podcast (I wish I had noted it down), the host said something that created an instant “aha” moment. She asked what would happen if you told your brain, “I get to”? How would that change the course of how you think? This got me unstuck. It was a very simple phrase, but it was full to the brim with wisdom. It opened this heavy door in front of me, and the key to unlocking it was gratitude. In those three simple words, “I get to,” I found the wisdom to change the way I thought and how I felt. I made a note of it, ran back home, and made a quick "I get to" list, which I am sharing below.
1. I get to be married to my best friend for eighteen years and experience work and life with him.
2. I get to be a mom to not just one, but two wonderful boys and spend time with them during the holidays.
3. I get to be a leader in tech and build a world class competitive product with a super talented and fun team.
4. I get to work and solve hard problems every day.
5. I get to coach amazing leaders in tech.
6. I get to enjoy healthy meals with my family.
7. I get to do a plank for two minutes.
9. I get to cherish and cultivate the beautiful friendships and relationships in my life.
10. I get to walk to new places around my city.
11. I get to carry forward the legacy of my father.
12. I get to experience unconditional love from Molly (my dog).
And finally,
I get to write and share my thoughts with my wonderful readers.
So, the next time you go into the I wish I didn't have to mode, simply remind yourself to instead say, I get to. The benefits of doing this bringing us back into an instant gratitude mode. Gratitude is the secret to long-term happiness. It brings you to appreciate what you have and find blessings in getting to experience and do things in your life you desire. So many of us are born with the privilege of health and financial freedom and choices around the places we get to work and lives we can contribute to. “I get to”, is a beautiful and simple way to put us in that mode.
With lots of gratitude and love,
Maithili Vijay Dandige