Dear worklifers,
When I was in the 4th grade, we moved from my birthplace Mumbai (Bombay) to the city I was going to grow into as a young adult (Nagpur). During that transition year, we (my brother, my mom and myself) lived with my father's sister (my aunt) while our apartment was getting remodeled. My father kept shuttling up and down from Mumbai to Nagpur during that transition year. My aunt lived in this beautiful old bungalow that was surrounded by thriving fruit trees - guava, lemon, black plums and many more. The house also had an expansive large terrace. I remember distinctly the difference between the terrace and the garden. The terrace being absolutely barren compared to the garden which was luscious. The barren terrace had hot concrete and as you looked up there was the big blue sky.
During one of his visits, my father bought three notebooks and three sharpened pencils. He gave one to each, myself, my older brother and our cousin. He took us up to the terrace and sat us down to describe this new practice we were about to start and do every single day. The practice was simple, go up to the terrace in the evening, find a place to sit and look up at the sky. Spend time looking at the sky, the clouds, and use one's imagination to find a shape, or a unique scene, or a picture - it could be an animal, it could be a hat, or a monster trying to scare you. There were no strict rules, just two. Write something on the dated page and share it with others.
This memory and practice have been etched in my brain and was one of the most delightful things I did during my stay with my aunt, amongst other things like climbing trees, plucking fruits from trees, and playing hide and seek with my cousins. When I picked up the book by Ross Gay called "The Book of Delights" no wonder it took me back to this memory. I so wish, I could discuss his work with my father and how I understood so many unsaid intentions behind getting us to start that practice. Knowing him, I could see how delighted he would be for me to have found new meaning to this creative exercise he got us to do. I was lucky to be part of such experiments while growing up and was one of the many delightful things my father did for me and my brother.
It was at this very moment that Ross' words also reminded me that "joy is the light that comes from us as we carry each other through our sorrows - and no one gets out of their life without sorrow. Writing and sharing your delights, however, is about holding good with the bad, to be more present, and to revel in the little things. Transitions can be a hard time, and I remember it was a confusing time staying at my aunt's place and feeling displaced. However, that daily practice enabled me and my brother to move forward every single day. When we experience, and share delights we offer ourselves to be moved. And being moved is being alive. It makes you present, and even closer to your true desires and needs and pushes you at the other extreme of realizing how grateful you are for what you have experienced and have. Delights also make gratitude become a fundamental aspect of our lives.
Ross, also encourages us to use the word "love" instead of "like" when we describe our delights. How many times do we fall back on the word "like" when people ask us what did you "love" about your trip or what did you love about your day or a what did you love about your project you just completed. And it can be really challenging for all of us to say "love" it, because it feels vulnerable. Once you've admitted that you love something, you've also admitted that you're movable, which I think is also an admission that you have needs.
I'm going to lean into the delight practice that my father introduced me to and that Ross has resurrected. I absolutely loved reading his essays on delights so far and I am sharing two of my delights. Hope you enjoy them and start your own practice and share them with someone.
Molly - Every month, after I bring Molly (my 3.5-year-old lab) from her spa appointment she decides unmistakably to drag me to a perfect patch of green glass, nose dives into it, flips on her back like a furry pancake on a griddle, flipping and flopping to take the delicious stink of shampoo her fur. While I have my human urge of saying, "Molly you've just come from the spa", she overrides me with her animal instinct looking straight into my eye and going for that plunge. This goof ball act of Molly amongst many others is an absolute delight & brings me to smile every single time she does that.
Bombay Bitez and Vikas - Vikas is an old colleague, and we started our journeys together at Microsoft back in 2004. Over the years we had not been in touch. A couple of years before the pandemic hit, he reached out to make a connection when he was looking for his next role. It was lovely catching up with him and sharing what each of us were up to. At that point he told me about his new venture called "Bombay Bitez" and how he had followed his passion and started a small food stall. He mentioned he was just starting off with bringing it to the farmers market at Issaquah and Mercer Island. Cut 3 years later and during one of the summer weeks, I randomly make a plan to visit the Mercer Island Farmers market with my mom. She loves farmers market and so do I. Given it was Sunday, I looked up a market which was open and decided to head there. As we were walking and visiting the small stalls, to my delight I saw Vikas selling the famous "Vada Pau" he told me about. I walked a little closer and he was absolutely delighted to see me as well. In those few moments we caught up, I tried a few samplers, ordered a few vada pau's for myself and my family. I am always inspired by colleagues who pursue their passions alongside work. It is never easy, requires a lot of sacrifice, self-discipline and grit.
Maithili Vijay Dandige